Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

I remember a few years ago when I was working with a high school back as a volunteer, how microaggression would show its ugly head whenever I would allow it to be. The band director, Mr. D. was a great over the top band man. We worked so well together. The parents would sometimes say we were like a old married couple, went he and I would not agree on something and we would get some what loud while in his office with the door shut.

I worked with the colorguard and I just about fell over one night at practice when a parent came out to the field and said to me, “they are in there talking about you. He is in there with them and he is not saying anything in your defense. They are saying the colorguard would have their routine if those two black women were not helping them”. These same people tell me what a great job I was doing. My first thoughts were to show them my color by going inside and get into it with them. My next thought was how could they say this, they seem to be nice people. We all were getting along. I hurt inside only because he did not say anything in my defense. I still had to work with him.

 I did nothing until practice was over. I went to his office, closed the door and told him “what you see is what you get. I was not black when we talked about me working with you. My name has not change and neither has the color of my skin. If you have a problem with it let me know right now so I can make my decision on what I need to do”. I was kind of close to him, not quite in his face but I did take up some of his space. He looked at me, told me to back up so he could get a drink out of the fridge, asked me if I wanted one because I looked hot, and then said, “We need to work on getting the kids ready for the next band contest. I need you to help me with setting up stuff. The children don’t know yet but I want to make this an overnight trip”.  Need I say more?

I see these things (discrimination, prejudice, and/or stereotypes) are alive and working well in all of us. I know I may step on someone toes here. The reason I say this is that we do not worship, live, or vote together. I feel if we as a society can ever come together, be true to ourselves first, and stop telling the lies about not having these feelings inside us, we may be able to get along. This world would change for the better. This is just my opinion.

Sandra